Josh Byers


Writing about books, culture, ministry, design and my family

All Lit Up

It's the holiday season and the festivities have begun. Saturday I participated in the time honored tradition of trying not to break my neck falling off the roof or electrocuting myself on power lines, or more commonly known as "hanging the Christmas lights." When we lived in our town house there weren't a lot of options for decorating - basically a string around the garage was all I could muster but our new house has presented a whole new opportunity. lights.jpgMid-morning Mia and I made the journey to our local Wal-Mart to scope out the light scene. I didn't know really what I was going to do, but I at least had the foresight to measure our roof so I had some semblance of how many lights we needed. What I wasn't prepared for however was the range of choices that I was presented with at Wal-Mart. Speaking of Wal-Mart, is there any other place in the world you can buy a goldfish, have your oil changed, watch a plasma tv, and be greated by a friendly elderly person? Didn't think so.

Mia and I decided on some icicle lights. Now there are good icicle lights and bad ones. I really don't like the ones that hang down half-way to the ground and I really don't like the ones that actually look like icicles. In a moment of brilliance I also picked up some light hanging thingies that turned out to be awesome.

Climbing up the ladder I had several Clark Griswold flashbacks only if I fall it's to my concrete driveway... Not sure why I didn't choose to do this the previous weekend when it was literally 50 degrees warmer. I love to get on roof tops. I think every guy gets satisfaction when you climb to the top of something. I've been watching the Everest series on the Discovery channel and for a brief second on the summit of my roof I imagined myself on the summit of Everest... I had conquered my roof. I am man. I am awesome...or something like that.

Got the lights hung without too much drama and then came the part that I dread - the re-mounting of the ladder. Not sure why but I get really freaked out when making that first step back on to the ladder. It always feels like the ladder will fall and then I'll fall and I'll die... Made it down though and plugged the lights in and.....................................they worked!!!..............for 5 minutes...lights2.jpg

Turns out when the box says you can connect 3 strands together it actually meant 3 and not 7...

Luckily only the first strand blew a fuse which by the way are the most ridiculous things to try and replace. I almost went back to Wal-Mart to buy a new set cause I couldn't get that stupid fuse out. Finally wrestled it out with a steak knife, put in a new one, ran an additional cord and presto, we have lights!

Now I just need to start working on convincing Mickie to leave them up all year...