I was going to Walmart the other day to pick up some stuff I probably didn’t need when my parking radar was activated. I always seem to get to Walmart about a minute after everyone else in Des Moines and am relegated to parking across the street or in some cases in Illinois. This particular day my senses were keen and I spotted what I thought was a front row spot. It turned out to be handicapped. Now don’t tell me that you’ve never been tempted to park in one – just for a minute of course. What are the odds the entire handicapped population would show up in those few minutes?

Now I know what you’re thinking, I parked in a handi spot and when I came out I saw some poor crippled person driving around aimlessly because they couldn’t find a spot because some heartless “20 something year old” had taken what was rightfully theirs. I didn’t do that.

What I did do was take another lap around and low and behold while I was at the bottom of the row I saw a car backing out. Could it be?? I strained my neck to check if the spot was legit and gunned the engine. It was, and I was off. Out of the corner of my eye I saw another car who had apparently seen the spot open up and it was a race to see who could claim it first. Unfortunetly he had a slight lead coming from another row and just beat me to the spot.

As if losing that spot wasn’t bad enough, I noticed something hanging from the rear view mirror as the driver hobbled into the store. A handicapped parking permit…

Shouldn’t that be a $100 fine?

I know its not exclusive but one of the features I like most on my iPod is the “shuffle songs” feature. I often discover music I had forgotten I had.

So today I thought I would post the first 5 songs that come up. No cheating. And here they are.

1. Deck the Hall by the Burlington High School Choir on the Christmas Classics album (Mickie’s High School Choir)
2. Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice on the Best of album (best of what??? I’m not sure. Maybe “one hit wonder white rappers with really bad hair…”)
3. The Great Adventure by Steven Curtis Chapman on the Greatest Hits album (This song has a very cool intro.)
4. Crazy Times by Jars of Clay on the Much Afraid Album (This is one of my favorite albums by Jars)
5. All I Ask of You by Sara Brightman and Cliff Richard on the Phantom of the Opera Soundtrack (when I’m in the car by myself this is one of those songs I’ll belt out at the top of my lungs…)

I challenge those of you with the shuffle feature on your music player to post in the comments the first 5 songs that come up.

Our new house is bringing us many new and exciting things. One of the things I am most excited about is the basement that has a separate tv room/office and game room. For the tv room we (I) bought a sectional and matching ottoman. I am already dreaming about the Sunday naps I will take on it.

Members of the world unite!
If you are sick and tired of receiving forwards that can change your life, show you cute and cuddly animals, preach against the demise of Christianity in America, endless chicken soup stories, and the latest virus threats that will end humanity as we know it, join me in my fight to ban the forward button on all email applications. Or maybe this would work better.

Here is a great tip for all of you who are thinking about seeing a film at an IMAX theatre. Get there early and sit near the top. We made the mistake last night of arriving close to the start of the movie (we saw Superman).

In my ignorance I thought that all IMAX theatres would be about the same. The only other one I have been to is in Denver. In the Mile High City the screen is about twice as big and the lowest row of seats in the stadium seating is positioned a comfortable distance away from screen. Contrast that with the Des Moines Science Center’s IMAX where the screen isn’t that much bigger than some movie theatres and the seats are almost close enough to the screen to touch it. I guess it makes it look bigger. Now I’m not sure of the logic behind this (and maybe they have to) but they projected the movie from about half way up the screen to the top of screen. That wouldn’t be so bad if the top of screen didn’t curve up onto the ceiling. I think we accidentally wandered into the planetarium…

So imagine us seated near the bottom having to crane our necks in a 90 degree angle just to see the action. I could have really used one of those hospital bendy straws for my drink. We finally figured out that if you slouched down far enough where your rear is completely off of the seat and your head was jammed into the back of your seat you had a pretty good angle – for about 5 minutes until your legs fell asleep and your neck cramped up.

So to help you all out, either get there early or beg the staff to point the projector down a few feet. Now if you will excuse me, I’ve run out of icy-hot.

Sorry to write another post about soccer, but Jason Kottke had some interesting thoughts that I read today and I though I would rehash my version…
I watched most of the Germany/Italy semi-final yesterday and I have come to the conclusion that I would enjoy following soccer. Yes, the scoring isn’t as high and the action isn’t constantly faced paced but it is very interesting and these guys are world class athletes right up there with the top basketball and football players we follow.

So why haven’t I ever nor will I ever be a devoted soccer fan? Back to that in a minute.

It is interesting to note that the number one youth sport in America is soccer. Knowing this one would conclude that it is a very popular sport in America as well. But it’s not – how come? David Jabobs recently offered up a great explanation and one I had never thought of.

Our best athletes go to basketball, football, and baseball, roughly in that order. Soccer gets the dregs, sadly. Don’t you think Terrell Owens would be a better striker than Landon Donovan? Even a 50-year-old Darrel Green might be faster than the fastest player on the US Soccer team, and so on.

Jeffery Toobin of the New Yorker also made the following observation which I again I think is right on the money.

Every kid in the American suburbs, it seems, owns a pair of shin guards. Soccer accords nicely with baby-boomer parents’ notions about sports: every kid gets to play, no one stands out too much, there’s plenty of running and trophies for all. If [John Robert's] children are typical, they will play neighborhood soccer for a few years, with enthusiastic but inexperienced parent coaches, and then wander away from the game by adolescence. Great high-school athletes tend to migrate to football and basketball, where they can play in front of big crowds and perhaps qualify for college scholarships. Soccer in the suburbs serves mostly as a bridge between Barney and Nintendo; it’s a pleasant diversion, not a means of developing brutes like Jan Koller, to say nothing of the magicians who stock the Brazilian team.

So it seems we have a vicious circle in the making. Kids don’t want to play soccer because they can’t get a college scholarship or be famous in their blue collar home town, which dilutes the talent level, that then brings down the quality of the game and doesn’t really interest the casual fan who is corporate America’s main target for advertising who then doesn’t provide the big money and exposure althletes crave which then sends the best athletes who have actually chosen to play soccer overseas. And so on and so on.

How can I be a devoted fan when I am presented with a watered down product that will never win and has one tenth of the excitement of a NFL game?

What could Dwayne Wade or Kobe do on a soccer field? Do you honestly think anyone would ever contest Terrel Owens for a midfield header? Michael Vick on a breakaway?

Ahhh, the possibilities. What athletes do you think could be superstars in another sport?

All American traditions include football, baseball,apple pie,suing, and garage sales. When you think about it garage sales are actual quite snobbish. In essence you are saying “This stuff isn’t worthy of me anymore. I used to like it, but I am so past that stage in my life.” In our arrogance we actually think people want to buy and wear our old gym shorts. Mmmmm, sweat stains.

So we are having a garage sale this weekend and I am presently in the process of turning up my nose in disgust of every reprobate creature that looks my stuff.

But the garage saler can get you back. They can browse through your stuff and turn up their nose. What?!! You don’t like the lamp shaped as a women’s leg with fishnet stocking?!! How insulting.

I’ve also noticed that you subconsciously profile each person as they handle your stuff. In my head I’m thinking: “Are you really good enough for my camera? We had some good times. We have a bond. Will you treat her well? What will you do together? You don’t look like the kind of person that needs that.” And so on.

In the end I hope we get rid of all this stuff and in a year I’ll come to your place and buy it all back.

Soccer will never become a mainstream professional sport in the United States.

I’m not saying this because we lost or because I’m a soccer hater. I was really excited for the World Cup. In fact I recorded the US games and shut out the sports world those days so I wouldn’t find out what happened until I was able to watch them. But when so much of the game rests in the hands of an official I have a problem with it.

Sure there are bad calls in other sports but in those sports there are multiple opportunites to legitimately score. If you go down a goal in a soccer match (much less the World Cup) you can pretty much forget about winning. That is why the missed calls are so frustrating. Why should I invest my valuable time to see some guy fall down and clutch his face in agony after being tapped on the shin? I guess the Americans should learn how to dive better…